In Your Hands
by GellsBells
Summary: An examination of Jughead's thoughts during the diner scene in episode 1 x 10, as Betty reveals her darkest secret.


"I should have told you about Chuck, but I didn't I lied. And then I threw you this party you didn't even want." He groaned inwardly remembering how he had chastised her for this decision. Ready to throw everything away on one night and one decision. How he had so readily thrown Archie in her face, he knew he had said it out of his own insecurities, not thinking of the impact that it would have on her. Then during that stupid game Chuck had laid her secrets bare, he had watched on as those hateful things spewed from the boy's mouth, as Betty blinked back tears, watching herself being exposed to her classmates. He found it difficult to imagine Betty losing control, let alone imagining her in the way that Chuck had described her. Hearing his name seemed to jolt him into action, launching himself at Chuck his hand still stinging from the impact.

"Why did you?" He asked, Betty was such a caring individual she had shown that on so many occasions that he did not believe that she would purposefully go against what he wanted. There must have been something else behind it. "There is something very very wrong with me." He continued to stare at her as she spoke. He didn't believe anything could be wrong with her, with all she had endured and still here she was. When he had re-entered the party and wanted to speak to her after all those things he had thrown in her face she had still accepted him back. He knew that she hated the word 'perfect' but to him that's what she was. He was the one who was damaged, not her. "There is this darkness in me that's overwhelming sometimes and I don't know where it comes from. But I think that's what makes me do these crazy things. Like.."

Her voice trailed off as she paused and he could see that she was deliberating whether she would expose herself further than she had already been tonight. She opened her palms to him and he was shocked to see the small cresent indents scarred into her hands. The marks were fresh still weeping, she had hurt herself recently. She had been in pain and he hadn't even noticed, she had been in so much pain and unable to cope that she had felt the only option available was to inflict damage on herself.

She looked up at him with those wide trusting eyes and he could see she was trying to gauge his reaction, had she given over too much, shown too much of herself. He was trying to process her reveal, she seemed like she had it all together, he saw such a strength in her. He had told her as much in the office of the Blue and Gold while her family was destroying itself she was the strength keeping them all together. Had he only placed yet more expectations on her.

He began to see that they were not so difference both had a darkness surrounding them while he wore his on the outside clear and plain for everyone to see, she hid hers as best she could, under pleasant smiles and giggles, letting it bubble under the surface struggling to get out. He had a lightness in him that she had started to tease out from him. He had actually found himself against his best efforts enjoying himself at Polly's baby shower, bathing himself in her light until Archie had arrived. She brought out a part of him that he wasn't sure still existed, that it had been too deeply buried by the trainwreck that had been his life.

He sighed as he took her hands and clasped them in his own. Her vulnerability was literally in his hands, to do with what he wished. He brought her hands and her darkness to his lips and lightly kissed her knuckles. He felt a pang of guilt for what he had said earlier, the words "perfect girl next door" ringing clearly in his ears. No wonder she hated the word and everything that it stood for. He didn't have the expectations that were forced upon her, no one expected him to amount to anything, there was no-one to disappoint. She had a heavy burden and he wanted to share that burden lighten it in whatever way he could.

He continued to hold her hands, keeping her safe and protected in this moment. She pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, which he returned and she leant her head on his shoulder as his arm moved to wrap around her, rubbing her arm gently with his hand.


End file.
